People of Earth

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amydoesthings:

cumslayer:

cumslayer:

So I went on a date today and we went to a nice restaurant before going to the movies and I ordered the “iced grape popsicles” for dessert because I love grape Popsicles so why not right?…..so the waiter brings out the “iced grape popsicles” aND THEY WERE LITERALLY 3 FROZEN GRAPES ON STICKS…..I HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE OFFENDED IN MY LIFE…SINCE WHEN ARE 3 FUCKING FROZEN GRAPES IN A FUCKING VASE AN ACCEPTABLE SINGLE DESSERT ORDER..ITS NOT EVEN FROZEN GRAPE JUICE OR SOMETHING ITS LITERALLY JUST A 0.02$ GRAPE THAT WAS PUT ON A STICK THEN FROZEN…LIKE SOMEONE ACTUALLY WROTE THIS DOWN ON THE MENU THINKING “OH YEAH PEOPLE FUCKING LOVE COLD GRAPES” AND SOME OTHER ASSHAT SAID “BRAH. HEAR ME OUT, HOW ABOUT WE PUT THEM ON STICKS AND SERVE THEM IN A VASE WITH NOTHING ELSE” LIKE YOU COULDNT EVEN SERVE IT WITH A FUCKING SECOND FRUIT OR EVEN FUCKING LEAVES OR WHATEVER… IM SO MAD. FUCKING FROZEN GRAPES ON A STICK.

AND THEY WERENT EVEN SEEDLESS GRAPES…..

THAT LAST COMMENT IS WHAT DID IT. HOW DARE THEY

(via c0gnitive-dissonance)

pauladeenandporn:

when I first tweeted these I had to try to hide them from my two psychologist parents but then they got so big that my neighbor told them about it and so they sat me down to ask if I needed help.

(Source: watchthefirefliesdance, via c0gnitive-dissonance)

imsoshive:

me: what’s for dinner?

her: *spreads her legs*

me: 

image

so, did you not cook or ….. cause popeyes closes at 10 and i need to leave now if i’m gon make it. 

(via rcklssgreg)

souljagirl617:

I don’t go thru ppls pictures on their phone cause I wasn’t raised in the jungle

(via c0gnitive-dissonance)

trekkiee:

mcroosa:

Mommy teaching babby easier water drinking way because drinking water is hard experience u get it in your nose. Jesus how she puts her paw on his head in the second one. Such concern and love.

THIS IS THE CUTEST THING I HAVE EVER FUCKING SEEN FROM CATS EVER

(Source: catleecious, via c0gnitive-dissonance)

hockpock:

qualiachameleon:

rocketumbl:

Theo Jansen  Strandbeest

Side note: These don’t have motors. They’re completely momentum/wind-powered and literally just wander around beaches unsupervised like giant abstract monsters.

these are both amazing and COMPLETELY TERRIFYING

(via abagond)

rnicrophone:

bombing:

cop: who the hell ordered all these pizzas

me: you said i got one phone call

image

(via c0gnitive-dissonance)

guy:

i don’t like your clothes take them off

(Source: guy, via c0gnitive-dissonance)

stacksbreadup:

This deadass the funniest tweet ever.

deverse:

my mom meant to post a picture of her dog and posted a picture of a turkey insteadimage

(via itskhaiibetch)

youseebutyoudontsee:

Lmao

(Source: sizvideos, via itskhaiibetch)